The ADKS Malediction

Buried beneath flesh and bone,
my love shudders in its sleep;
ever extending an outward arm to pull the sheet
covers over for warmth.

Now
before you may disregard it completely,
know this:
When at the peak of its prime,
my love roars with the ferocity of forty-four Nemean lions;
absolutely absorbed
in all that it chooses to ravenously rejoice in.

But if you want my advice,
I'd leave the damned damsel in strife;
lest you’d rather desire
to end up the one who's 
devoured
entirely
in your own distress.

Cull your footing carefully,
for once you've entered this cave, there is no "holding back".
So don’t you hold anything back
else we’d digress back
to holding onto sheet covers for warmth.

The truth is that right now
my love is "depressingly ambivalent";
unable to determine whether or not it would prefer to see the light of day again.

So,
what am I doing?
I’m standing still;
Stuck in suspension.
Cornered between bitter Boreas and zealous Zephyrus.

While one move lures the feline this way,
another lures it that way;
So,
what other possible choice is there
but to stand still?

I’m standing still
for fear of stepping towards one heading
and falling off of the map entirely.
I lust to know what lies beyond the sea’s horizon,
and yet,
I’m mortified of getting lost in it;
of drowning in it altogether.
Unable to find a way back to Ithaca.

I’m standing still
for my soul comes complete
with occupants dancing full-heartedly to different beats.
I lust for acceptance for all that I am,
and yet,
I’m mortified at the thought of finally being seen;
of being acknowledged altogether as a single being.

Maybe all I truly care to want
is solely for you to draw out
the version I am most fond of?
Maybe it’s not about you accepting me, but rather
you simply just aiding me
to find acceptance within myself.

And yes,
maybe that is a "perversion" of love.
You'll just have to forgive my selfish ways;
for like Calypso, I've spent
far too many days
wasting my love away
on lovers who just weren't destined to return it.

And that’s not to say
that they were the ones to blame
just that
we
weren't right for one another.
So maybe
WE
aren't right for one another.

And my intention was never to
put this on your shoulders;
rather, I've simply just been wanting to
take this off my chest.

The inhabitants within this soul have
long since forgotten
how to accommodate for company.
Once hospitality turns into hostility,
well,
there just isn't any sanity left
in keeping company over.

You cannot change who you've become
once you've already become
this one;
And to put it honestly,
It really is just
me
who wants to become one.

So until the day comes when the one
would find a way to unite these spirits into one,
then I will proceed with a smile and sigh
“Hi!
Nice to meet you!
Oh! Good! Great!
OK. Now,
goodbye.”